Being Present

Things have not slowed down since Brianne’s departure. Between welcoming our new nephew to the family and gearing up for two big weddings coming up on Labor Day weekend, I have been going 150 miles an hour. That, and being pulled over for a speeding ticket yesterday, totally knocked my spirits down. Coming home to 2 loads of backed up laundry-folding didn’t help either.

After picking Bridgette up from school today, I had a strong urge to go right back to my laptop to finish the gazillion paperwork that was waiting for me at my desk. But as soon as I saw my little girl’s sunshine smile, the voice that was telling me to go back to work was soon drowned out by another voice.

“Work. Can. Wait.”

I always forget that sometimes, work really can wait. Being an entrepreneur is a double edged sword. I love the flexibility that I have to plan my own schedule, but it is this flexibility that makes it hard to separate my personal life with my work life. It takes great discipline, and even after 9 years, I am still unable to master this discipline! Bridgette is probably the best, and only, person that has the power to make me more disciplined about this.

It felt absolutely wonderful to switch from my Wedding Planner hat to my Mommy hat after picking Bridgette up from school. We headed over to Target, as I had promised Bridgette to let her pick a gift for her new cousin Ivan. We spent some time choosing, where Bridgette tried hard to convince me that maybe, just maybe, Ivan would like that pink tutu dress, or the princess bathtub, or the purple bib that reads “Princess in the making.”

After I wisely led Bridgette to choose more appropriate gifts for Ivan, we spent some time in the books section, where I read 3 different princess stories to her. She just cannot get enough of princesses these days, and as cute as it may seem to onlookers, I really hope she’ll outgrow this obsession soon enough. I have to admit though, it is quite amusing to witness how she interprets ‘beauty’ these days…

A little over-accessorized, baby? 🙂

After dinner, Bridgette wanted me to invent some new games to play with her. I’m really good at that, by the way, and Bridgette loves it. I invent the silliest, craziest games that makes absolutely no sense, but creates an uproar of laughter around our living room. When I am in my game-invention mode is when I am most engaged with my daughter, and it always feels very fulfilling. No temptation to pick up my iphone to check email, no desire to finish that last load of laundry… just pure, engaging moments with the people that matter to me most. Life always feels good when I let myself do that.

Although I lack the skills to properly use my DSLR, I carry it with me often to capture as many meaningful moments as I possibly can. And when I don’t have my DSLR with me, my iphone would have to step in and do the work. Many of my friends and family think I overdo it with the picture taking, and at times, I probably do. Recently though, I have found that the most endearing moments are those not captured by my camera. Those are the times when I am most engaged with people, sans camera…and despite not having capture the moment on ‘film’, it is very likely to remain in my memory because I was truly present in that moment. Like the time when Brianne said to her mommy “Mommy, I love Bridgette so, so much” or when Bridgette draped her arm around my shoulders yesterday and said, “Mommy, you’re my best girl buddy.” Those are sentiments that will be etched in my memory forever. Pictures speak a thousand words, but the moments in between the pictures tell a more passionate story.